Relak, hav a laugh 2

[yellowtang]

it's time to laugh!

Three Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,

but a WISE man tells her

that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell a Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

4.. Love your friends not their sisters.

Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD.

He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.

Next moment,

he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6.. Let us be generous like this :

Four Ants are moving through a forest..

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them..

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because

he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend -

You are missing SOME thing in your life..

If you HAVE a Girl Friend -

You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE

someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS,

PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if You are still in Darkness -

Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY TWO Women.

Because as per Constitution,

you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

cheers !!