MARRIAGE

[hamannbmw]

MARRIAGE (PART I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady

and after the wedding

laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I

want, if I want and at

what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from

you. I expect great

dinner to be on the table unless I

tell you. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and

card-playing when I want

with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard

time about it. Those are

my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just

understand that there'll

be ###### here at ten o'clock every night......whether

you're here or not."

MARRIAGE (PART II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of

their 40th wedding

anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm

getting you a headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As

Ever.'""Yeah?" she replies. "When

you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

reads,"Here Lies My Husband -

Stiff At Last.'"

MARRIAGE (PART III)

A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight

at the breakfast

table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you

are no good in bed

either," and storms out of the house. After

sometime, he realises he was

nasty and decides to make amends

and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many

rings and the irritated

husband says, "What took you so long to answer the

phone?"She says, "I was

in bed."

"In bed this late.....doing what?" he asked."Getting

a second opinion!"

MARRIAGE (PART IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his

achievement. He is so proud

of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother

of Six" in spite of

her objections. One night, they go to a party. The

man decides that it's

time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is

ready to leave as

well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we

go home 'Mother of

six'?"His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of

discretion shouts right

back,"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'"

MARRIAGE (PART V)

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each

other the silent treatment. The next week the man

realised that he would

need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to

Europe.Not wanting to

be the first to break the silence,

he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake

me tomorrow morning at

5:00 am".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover

it was 9:00am,and that

he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to

go and see why his wife

hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by

the bed....it said

it's 5:00am, wake up.

[harris]

[Tanggy]

Well if thats married life, I will stay single with my reef tank for company!! haik haik haik haik.......