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Top 20 things NOT TO DO at the next LOTR screening


Achilles Tang
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Top 20 things NOT TO DO at the next Lord of the Rings screening:

20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a ###### Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"

See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

15. In The Two Towers, when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.

10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians.

8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts

5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

After the movie, shout "Lucas could have done it better."

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

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16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"

See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

15. In The Two Towers, when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

:D:D:D ... ideas for the gruelling movie marathon

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