BEER

[swordtail]

BEER

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink

I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think

about the workers in the brewery and all of their

hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they

might be out of work and their dreams would be

shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I

drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish

and

worry

about my liver."

Jack Handy

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they

wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're

going to feel all day."

Frank Sinatra

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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk

to spend time with his fools."

Ernest Hemingway

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up

reading."

Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

I think not."

Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be

happy."

Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the

history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the

wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does

not go nearly as well with pizza. "

Dave Barry

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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE ###### SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

"goryoboy"

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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

Salvation in a can!

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And saving the best for last, As explained by Cliff

Clavin, of Cheers...

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining

the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it

went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo

can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when

the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones

at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,

because the general speed and health of the whole group

keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest

members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast

as the

slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,

kills brain

cells. But

naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain

cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer

eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a

faster and more efficient machine. That's why you

always feel smarter after a few beers."

[Achilles Tang]

LOL!!! That's funny!