Just a Joke

[albinosage]

Short-form for pantyhose

[raydiative]

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Lol...

[yikai]

so funny that i had to share it on facebook.

[albinosage]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshiper?

...

He sold his soul to Santa.

[pokmingsheng]

Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshiper?

...

He sold his soul to Santa.

LOL!!

i took awhile to get that..

10sec lag time..

[albinosage]

LOL!!

i took awhile to get that..

10sec lag time..

Did you also hear of the dyslexic man without faith?

...

He spent his nights wondering if there is a Dog.

[qwertman321]

can yo mamma jokes be posted here too?

Heres one ....

Yo mamma so fat , when she went to the beach and swim, the whales sing ' we are family! '

[pokmingsheng]

People who plug their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems aren't idiots.

That would be stereotyping.

[albinosage]

Hhshahahaha!! Good one. I shall tell that in the office later.

[albinosage]

This guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He was cool, and he didn't make any moves towards her for several weeks. Finally one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Cindy said she was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began. Everything was great for about 4 months.

One day the guy goes to Cindy and says, "I'm having this problem... it's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor."

Cindy says "Okay."

The guy says "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?"

Cindy looks at him a little funny, but says "Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil."

The guy then says "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a moustache on you?".

Cindy is getting a little worried, but says "Okay."

Then the guy says "Can you wear some of my clothing? I need for you to look more like a man."

Cindy is getting a little disappointed at this point, but says "Well.......I guess so."

Then the guy says to Cindy, "Do you mind if I call you Fred?" Cindy, very dejected, says "I guess you can call me Fred."

.....

So the guy reaches out and grabs Cindy by the arms and says - "Fred! You won't believe who I have been sleeping with these past 4 months!!!"

[raydiative]

This guy was stranded on a desert island with Cindy Crawford. He was cool, and he didn't make any moves towards her for several weeks. Finally one day he asked her if maybe they could start up a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Cindy said she was game, and a very nice sexual relationship began. Everything was great for about 4 months.

One day the guy goes to Cindy and says, "I'm having this problem... it's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor."

Cindy says "Okay."

The guy says "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?"

Cindy looks at him a little funny, but says "Sure, you can borrow my eyebrow pencil."

The guy then says "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a moustache on you?".

Cindy is getting a little worried, but says "Okay."

Then the guy says "Can you wear some of my clothing? I need for you to look more like a man."

Cindy is getting a little disappointed at this point, but says "Well.......I guess so."

Then the guy says to Cindy, "Do you mind if I call you Fred?" Cindy, very dejected, says "I guess you can call me Fred."

.....

So the guy reaches out and grabs Cindy by the arms and says - "Fred! You won't believe who I have been sleeping with these past 4 months!!!"

Lol..

[jackywongto]

Cindy Crawford.... lol .... must be very old joke...

I think some of the younger reefers might not even know who she is..... keke

[albinosage]

Cindy Crawford.... lol .... must be very old joke...

I think some of the younger reefers might not even know who she is..... keke

Damnnnn... I feel so old now.

[albinosage]

There was a monkey smoking pot in a tree in the jungle. A lizard walks by the bottom of the tree, looks up, sees the monkey and says, "Hey monkey, whatchya doin' up there?" The monkey replies, "Smoking some pot, come on up!" So the lizard goes up in the tree and smokes some pot with the monkey. The lizard gets pretty stoned, and leaves the tree to go get a drink of water from the river. As he's drinking, a crocodile comes up and looks at him and says, "Lizard, are you stoned?!" and the lizard says, "Yeah! I was smoking pot with a monkey in that tree!" The crocodile is like, "I don't believe this .. " and walks over to the tree. The crocodile stands at the bottom of the tree and yells, "Hey monkey, you still up there??" The monkey looks down from the tree, sees the crocodile and yells back, "Duuuuuuuuuuudeeeee..... how much water did you drink?!"

[jackywongto]

There was a monkey smoking pot in a tree in the jungle. A lizard walks by the bottom of the tree, looks up, sees the monkey and says, "Hey monkey, whatchya doin' up there?" The monkey replies, "Smoking some pot, come on up!" So the lizard goes up in the tree and smokes some pot with the monkey. The lizard gets pretty stoned, and leaves the tree to go get a drink of water from the river. As he's drinking, a crocodile comes up and looks at him and says, "Lizard, are you stoned?!" and the lizard says, "Yeah! I was smoking pot with a monkey in that tree!" The crocodile is like, "I don't believe this .. " and walks over to the tree. The crocodile stands at the bottom of the tree and yells, "Hey monkey, you still up there??" The monkey looks down from the tree, sees the crocodile and yells back, "Duuuuuuuuuuudeeeee..... how much water did you drink?!"

kekeke ... comic relief for the day Thanks duuuuuuuuuudeeeeee

[raydiative]

Lol.. thats a darn good one.. hahaha

[raydiative]

Memoirs of IMH (Mental Hospital)

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter.. She got curious and went to

take a peek.. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.

Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"

Patient : "I'm writing a letter to myself..."

Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone

write a letter to himself?)

So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"

Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't receive the letter,

how would I know??"

[jackywongto]

wahaha .... what the patient said made sense....

[albinosage]

wahaha .... what the patient said made sense....

LOL Good one Ray! Anyway Jacky, some mental patients are detached from reality, but their sense of logic is sharper than normal folks.. dun pray pray. I especially enjoy talking to them when I have the chance, just to see how they make sense of the world.

[jackywongto]

LOL Good one Ray! Anyway Jacky, some mental patients are detached from reality, but their sense of logic is sharper than normal folks.. dun pray pray. I especially enjoy talking to them when I have the chance, just to see how they make sense of the world.

you get to talk to them?? not in your line of work wat.....

talking to Ray doesn't count hor...... ** ding!

[albinosage]

talking to Ray doesn't count hor...... ** ding!

You just made me LOL for real in front of visitors in the office!

[raydiative]

you get to talk to them?? not in your line of work wat.....

talking to Ray doesn't count hor...... ** ding!

of cos no count la.. i normal ma.. lol..

bino talking to Jacky counted.. lol.. x2 summore!! ** Dong!

[jackywongto]

of cos no count la.. i normal ma.. lol..

bino talking to Jacky counted.. lol.. x2 summore!! ** Dong!

wahahahaha.... ya very good

lol

[albinosage]

I had a parrot. It talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry". So it died.

[albinosage]

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me."

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."