Just a Joke

[XiaoBaiTu]

Lady's Bathroom Buttons

A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.

"Sir," she said, "the ladies room is unoccupied. You may use it only if you promise not to touch the buttons on the wall."

He was about to explode, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savouring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified with the letters: WW, WA and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR.

Who would really know if he touched them? He could not just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed thw WW button. Warm Water was sprayed gently on his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him, the men's washroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button.

Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside.He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large Powder Puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant smell of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies room was far more than a restroom, it was a place of tender loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did he pressed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!

He knew he was in the hospital room as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"

"You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.

[XiaoBaiTu]

A man goes to the famous Lucas Carton restaurant in Paris with his girlfriend and orders the 1928 Mouton. The waiter returns with a bottle full of wine, pours a small amount in the glass for tasting. The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud.

"This is not the 1928 Mouton."

The waiter assures him it is, and soon there are another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.

Finally someone asks him how he knows that it is not the 1928 Mouton.

"My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I make the wine."

Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928.

"I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."

Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another finger in the other, then smell both the fingers. You will understand what difference a small distance in geographic location makes."

[XiaoBaiTu]

A rather dim-witted blond man was talking to his buddy: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday," he said. "She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

"I have an idea," his buddy said. “Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it -- she'll probably be thrilled."

The next day the two men met up again: "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" the friend asked.

"Yes, I did," said the man.

"Did she like it?" His buddy asked.

"Oh yes!" the man replied: "She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling 'I'll be back in an hour!'"

[XiaoBaiTu]

A skinny little white guy gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down... and brings him to, shaking him and says: "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says: "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.....I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weight 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says:" Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you had said turn around..!"

[jackywongto]

A skinny little white guy gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down... and brings him to, shaking him and says: "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says: "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.....I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weight 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says:" Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you had said turn around..!"

wahahahahaha!!!! good one!

[albinosage]

A rich, handsome man approaches a woman, offers her $1 million dollars to sleep with him. After thinking about it for half a second, she agrees.

"Would you do it for $20?" he then asks.

"What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"We've already established that, now we're just negotiating the price."

[yikai]

A rich, handsome man approaches a woman, offers her $1 million dollars to sleep with him. After thinking about it for half a second, she agrees.

"Would you do it for $20?" he then asks.

"What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"We've already established that, now we're just negotiating the price."

lol!

[onizukaa]

A rich, handsome man approaches a woman, offers her $1 million dollars to sleep with him. After thinking about it for half a second, she agrees.

"Would you do it for $20?" he then asks.

"What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"We've already established that, now we're just negotiating the price."

lol

[jackywongto]

wahahaha... funny

Somewhat i think there is an small element of truth in it.

[albinosage]

Hahaha... Glad you guys like the joke. Just sharing some subtle M18 jokes since xiaobaitu hasn't updated this thread for some time. The dirtier jokes I think better to share in private.

A young attractive couple are down on their luck and decide the easiest way to make some money is to have the girlfriend turn tricks. So one day the boyfriend reluctantly drops his girlfriend off on the corner and says "good luck!".

Later that day he comes back to pick her up and she gets into the car. He says, "how did you do?". She says, "I think I did pretty well, I made $200 and 50 cents.". He says, "Which a-hole paid you 50 cents?". And she replied, "All of them".

[jackywongto]

Hahaha... Glad you guys like the joke. Just sharing some subtle M18 jokes since xiaobaitu hasn't updated this thread for some time. The dirtier jokes I think better to share in private.

A young attractive couple are down on their luck and decide the easiest way to make some money is to have the girlfriend turn tricks. So one day the boyfriend reluctantly drops his girlfriend off on the corner and says "good luck!".

Later that day he comes back to pick her up and she gets into the car. He says, "how did you do?". She says, "I think I did pretty well, I made $200 and 50 cents.". He says, "Which a-hole paid you 50 cents?". And she replied, "All of them".

Pengzzzzz

another good one !

[yikai]

question : why do alveopora look like flowers?

answer : to be pollinated by the sea bees.

lol i hope you found this funny. one of the well known reefers here and i laughed ridiculously long until i think i had a hernia. either that or we no sense of humour XD

[jackywongto]

question : why do alveopora look like flowers?

answer : to be pollinated by the sea bees.

lol i hope you found this funny. one of the well known reefers here and i laughed ridiculously long until i think i had a hernia. either that or we no sense of humour XD

dun get it.....

[yikai]

dun get it.....

huh?! read slowwwwly and carefully

[FuEl]

question : why do alveopora look like flowers?

answer : to be pollinated by the sea bees.

lol i hope you found this funny. one of the well known reefers here and i laughed ridiculously long until i think i had a hernia. either that or we no sense of humour XD

I almost burst a vessel laughing.

[yikai]

I almost burst a vessel laughing.

lol. lucky you made it home alive. i'm still laughing now rofl.

[albinosage]

If it is a dirty joke, I think I get it... but then it is lemon, his jokes are never rated G one hahaha.

[yikai]

If it is a dirty joke, I think I get it... but then it is lemon, his jokes are never rated G one hahaha.

actually. it doesnt make sense lol. sea bees? sea BEES!! i guess it was funny at that moment but come to think of it, its rubbish rofl.

[yikai]

went out with some reefers for dinner and was reminded of this. gotta love austin powers.

rofl.

[yikai]

and my favourite character rofl!

[yikai]

some funny pictures i came across. thought of sharing. still tons more funnier ones in my com, but they're too "adult" to post here. hehe.

[albinosage]

LOL you like Cyanide and happiness too?! I freaking love them!

[yikai]

LOL you like Cyanide and happiness too?! I freaking love them!

its the best ever.

[albinosage]

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

[yikai]

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

LMAO! what's a hose?