Just a Joke

[XiaoBaiTu]

Ah beng was on a bike with ah lian after a durian shopping trip, ah lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians.....when they reach a hump...ah beng heard a loud bang....he ask ah lian, Lurian wu kalau bo(durian got drop or not?)....ah LIan shouted....'bo kalau'

so ah beng continue with the journey....when they reach home...ah beng get down from his bike, he was shocked to see that ah lian is not wearing a helmet???he ask ah lian...where is your helmet???

AH lian was very angry and replied....just now i already told u "bo kalau !! bo kalau !! (helmet drop)

[kelstorm]

hhahaha...

[d88p]

white rabbit white rabbit hehehe

[d88p]

Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition.

During the Q&A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the

letter 'G'."

The crowd shouts,"Gin! Gin!".

Others exclaim, "No, its Grape Juice!"

Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"

Host : "Quiet please."

Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying,

"C'mon man, you think I need their help?

I got more oliginal answer: Gu ni !"

(cow milk in hokkien)

[d88p]

In an English class:

Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"

Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"

Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"

Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother.

Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay & Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo.

So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)"

The teacher fainted.

[d88p]

Ah beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS?"

Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."

Ah beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

[d88p]

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.

"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah beng brags.

"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL". Ah beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.".

[AREA51]

wahahaha!!!

luv ah beng jokes

[XiaoBaiTu]

Laugh 4 e day.........

Joke 1

Boy goes for Blood Test. Nurse takes the sample but can't

find cotton so she sucks his finger!

Boy is so happy he asks, Can I get a Urine Test also?

Joke 2

Do u know why guys fart louder? Because in between his

legs, there is 1 microphone & 2 speakers.

Joke 3

A wife asks hubby how many women he had slept with. Husband

proudly replies only u darling with others I was awake!

Joke 4

A man ask doc. How to live longer?

Doct ask him : U smoke?

Ans: No

U drink?

Ans No.

U play mahjong?

Ans No

U like ######

Ans No

Then U want to live so long for what?

Joke 5

A group of Ah-Beng want to go disco. Outside the disco

there is a notice, only 18 & above is allowed.

Ah-Beng: walau wey, there only 17 of us.

Joke 6

Never argue with a Child! Very cute and funny!! The

children were line up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for

lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun

made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is

watching". Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the

table was large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,

"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Joke 7

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it

was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even

though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated,

the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was

physically impossible. The girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask

JOnah.

The teacher asked, 'what if jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied,

then you ask him

Joke 8

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was

trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown

up and say, 'There;s Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael.

He's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the

teacher. She's dead".

[d88p]

yo ah yo already

[d88p]

This is funny.....

Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and

walls..........

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,

Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,

Shall I lie, or shall I linger,

Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Another to be poet, he wrote this below that...

Here I sit

Broken hearted

Tried to shit

But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky

You had your chance

I tried to fart,

And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.

I came here

To shit and stink,

But all I do

Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think,

Some come here to shit and stink,

But I come here to scratch my balls,

And read the bullshit on the walls...

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...

Sign seen at a family restaurant toilet wall:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

[d88p]

ah pek & ah mah story..

Ah Pek and Ah Ma were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling

asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to

get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said, "Then, you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and

settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then, you used to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed covers, got out of bed and walk away.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth lah!"

[XiaoBaiTu]

4 husbands were sitting at the waiting room in a hospital while

> waiting for

>

> their wives birth giving. then a nurse came out and told to the

> first daddy,

>

> "Congratulations, you got twins!".

>

> "Oohh.. maybe its a coincident" said the daddy.

>

> "I am working in Petronas Twin Towers".

>

>

>

>

>

> Then another nurse came out and told to the second daddy,

>

> "Congratulations! You have triplets!" "Wooow!,

>

> this is a coincidence too" said the second daddy. "I am working for

> 3M

>

> Corporation"

>

>

>

>

>

> Another nurse came out and told the third daddy,

>

> "Congratulations! Your wife got quadriplets!"

>

> "Thank God! Maybe this is also a coincidence."

>

> "I work in the Four Seasons Hotel!"

>

>

>

>

>

> The fourth daddy-to-be was very worried. All the

>

> 3 daddies asked him, "Why are you so worried??"

>

> He answered, "I am working in Seven-Eleven!"

[AREA51]

wahahaha

7 + 11 = OMG

[bluezing]

wahahaha...

bro long!

u beri farneee hor?

[XiaoBaiTu]

Yesterday a mate was having some work done at a Citroen dealer.

A woman [Could be any woman on the planet] came in and asked for a

seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the Mechanic asked her, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine"

I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the bonnet up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course,its right there"...

Now scroll down to learn what a 710 is...............................

.....

.

.

.

.

[d88p]

[Lester]

whaaaawwawawaa ,,, hahaha

[d88p]

Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti

Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the

DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien meaning Ah Cheng buys

bread)

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to

re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were indignant and kicked up a big

fuss, claiming that the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene

in order to calm them down. Finally, after many hours of talking, the

manager managed to find out that the Ah Bengs were actually asking for the

song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and

wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they

could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As

they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea

what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and

hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so

impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"

The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

[d88p]

The Labbit and the Lulian

There was a beauty paegant and Miss USA, Miss UK and Miss S'pore were finalists.

The host asked them the first question, name an animal which starts with L...

Miss USA said lion, Miss UK said llama, and Miss S'pore said..."labbit.."

And then the host asked "Okay, now name a fruit which sarts with L"

Miss USA said lemon, Miss UK said lime and Miss S'pore went "A-ha!! I know

this one... Lulian!!"

[XiaoBaiTu]

[d88p]

i notice this forum, alot of the people here are so serious. Hope they can be more friendly

[d88p]

white rabbit........ for u!

Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!"

So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.

Just then, Maggi Mee walked around the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up.

As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognize you, okay!"

[hammy]

rabbit ?

once upon a time , a bear and a rabbit were shitting together . while they are shitting , the bear ask the rabbit whether he has this problem of shit stuck to his fur .

the rabbit reply : of course no.

after shitting , the bear took the rabbit and wipe his ######.

just a joke from my secondary sch

[d88p]

A family is sitting around the supper table.

> The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?

>

>

> The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of

> breasts.

> In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.

> In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but

> hanging a

>

> bit.

> After fifty, they are like onions."

>

>

> "Onions?"

>

>

> "Yes, see them and they make you cry."

>

>

> This infuriated the wife and daughter .

> S o the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of willies are there?"

>

>

> The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers,

> "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

> In a man's twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

> In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.

> After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree"!

>

>

> "A Christmas tree?"

>

>

> "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only"