some jokes to cheer up ur day :P

[Lester]

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man.

but behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.

'Your name pls.'?

"Abdul Aziz "

"######? "

"Six times a week!! "

"No, no, I mean male or female! "

"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

###### is like a restaurant.

Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to

be satisfied with self-service"

What makes a happy man?

Daughter on the cover of cosmo.

Son on the cover of sports illustrated.

Mistress on the cover of playboy

and ¡­Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

Teacher: What do you want to become?

Little Johnny : Doctor!

Teacher : Why?

Little Johnny : Coz its the only profession

where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes

and ask her husband to pay for it

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby

than have a tooth removed.

Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die wanted her tombstone to read:

BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.

The engraver shortened it to: "RETURNED UNOPENED"

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.

On their first night both were crying - why???

Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.

[shawncel]

Good one, bro...

[LoReNsIa]

haha.. funny.. but abit too R(A) haha.. but s'pore is getting more open. so it ok.. haha..

[Lester]

cheers

[cityofangels]

Hahaha! The jokes made my morning! Cheers..

[Elune]

More below:

The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So the

captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters

to make room for women and children.

To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.

To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.

To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.

To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.

Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

====================================

(ok, i didn't came up with the one below, copied from email one)...

One day, there is an American, one Italian, a Singaporean and Bangladeshi travel around on a private helicopter.

After about one hour traveling, the American take out his cigarette (Dunhill) lighted it up and start smoking after two sip, he throw the balance of the cigarette.

The others three persons surprise and ask " Why didn't you finish-up the cigarette before throwing ?" He reply arrogantly "there is a lot of cigarette in my country".

Half an hour later the Italian take a bottle of branded perfume and apply on him and the rest he throw out of the window.

The other three persons was surprised and ask "Why did you throw away the perfume? ".

The Italian reply also "there is a lot of perfume in my country"

The Singaporean don't know what to do & suddenly push that Bangladeshi out of the helicopter.

The other two person was shouting crazily "Why did you push him !!!!!!!?????? " .

The Singaporean say slowly "There are a lot of Bangladeshi in my country".

Everybody keep quiet and stayed away from the Singaporean.

===============================================

[Lester]

More below:

The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So the

captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters

to make room for women and children.

To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.

To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.

To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.

To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.

Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

====================================

(ok, i didn't came up with the one below, copied from email one)...

One day, there is an American, one Italian, a Singaporean and Bangladeshi travel around on a private helicopter.

After about one hour traveling, the American take out his cigarette (Dunhill) lighted it up and start smoking after two sip, he throw the balance of the cigarette.

The others three persons surprise and ask " Why didn't you finish-up the cigarette before throwing ?" He reply arrogantly "there is a lot of cigarette in my country".

Half an hour later the Italian take a bottle of branded perfume and apply on him and the rest he throw out of the window.

The other three persons was surprised and ask "Why did you throw away the perfume? ".

The Italian reply also "there is a lot of perfume in my country"

The Singaporean don't know what to do & suddenly push that Bangladeshi out of the helicopter.

The other two person was shouting crazily "Why did you push him !!!!!!!?????? " .

The Singaporean say slowly "There are a lot of Bangladeshi in my country".

Everybody keep quiet and stayed away from the Singaporean.

===============================================

tat a good one