i need help! friend borrow money not repaying

[shoelevy]

hi guys

i need help with something!

i lent my friend thousand plus dollars a few weeks ago

she promised to pay me back in installments with today being first payment but she hasnt done so

not only has she not done so, whenever i sms her to remind her about it she refuses to reply me whether i am kind or harsh with my words

i have an IOU bearing her name, IC number, my name my ic date and time or loan and amt and a receipt to prove the case on my side

who can i approach to get my money back? can i go to debt collectors, police or bank?

i hope u guys can really help me on this

[tayhonglee]

bro, i think you too nice man. remember last time i pass you the azno3 anot? you still want to give me $15 or something even though the bottle is like half empty already.

maybe you should call her instead of sms. works better that way. its important to tell you even if she cannot repay on time...its more about accountability and respect.

henry

[shoelevy]

thanks fro the kind words henry

i called no use she say she got aunt in america who will send her angpao from USA with money...she say ang pao not here

but the problem is...she actually keeps spending NOW on clothes, clubbing, late night cab rides, dining at places at orchard which is not cheap etc etc

if she can afford such a life i dun see why she can't pay me back...i'm beginning to think she's trying to run

[FuEl]

The first and only time I lent that amount of $ was to my ex. She even offered to write an IOU but I declined as I did'nt feel right demanding that of her. I must admit I was concerned over the initial weeks but as time passed I learnt to let nature run its course. 5-6 months later she deposited the money back into the account without my prompting. Then again, the trust in the person and the preparation for the worst must be there.

Hmmm...if you have an IOU bearing her details you really should'nt have anything to worry about, unless you need the money urgently. She's probably very stressed during this period. My advice is cut some slack and don't worry so much. If you're prepared to lend money, you should always be prepared to lose it.

Then again if she's spending money now, it's probably she thinks that you are not in urgent need of the money as yet...or she just prefers to return as one big lump sum?

[shoelevy]

hi fuel

with an IOU, what rights as the lender do i have?

[FuEl]

hi fuel

with an IOU, what rights as the lender do i have?

Better check with a lawyer on that matter. But it should at least show some legal responsibility for the borrower to return the money. Beats having no form of documentation.

[nakazoru]

Hmmm....

I'm a big time lender of moneys. Lots of disapointment. Some even ruin friendship.

Tell you some lousy example;

1. "A" borrow money for whatever reason not important. Which later I found out that he has a Fixed Deposit which he does not wants to touch, thus he borrows from me. Piss off. Loan still pending...

2. "B" borrow money so that he repay another loan that he owns. Loan still pending...

3. "C" borrows money for someone else who needs for cash flow reason. Paid.

4. "D" borrows bcos Ah LONG knock on door. Bad debt. Fellow goes to jail.

The best part is that most borrower will in times go tour, buy present, owns car, drinks....

I have seen it all. The worst is to borrow to pay another loan. If one cannot pay the previous loan, one will not be able to pay me.

Today, I believe that any money lent, will not return to my pocket.

It is charity for the lesser fortunate.... Except for one, I believe is just way too spoit for hardwork.

[shoelevy]

The best part is that most borrower will in times go tour, buy present, owns car, drinks....

totally agree seeing the way she spend on ipod clothes and shit like that

[Tigger]

Just to share my bad experience also.

P was my JC buddy. Borrowed $500 during NS and never returned. Never reply my msg or phone calls. Bad debts. After this incident, no more loans to anyone.

[Alvin Tan]

u can try to make a trip to her huse to talk to her abt the payment??....

[mUAr_cHEe]

Moral of the Story.

Never lend money to anyone.

I just learn also.

And shoelevy, you are an ######. Must be you eat some salty veg or something. 1 day ask me about IOU matters. The next day, I learnt that it will be near impossible to get my money back.

About your problem, well, moving forward, all I can say is either you wait it out, or if you need the money that badly, go to the parents. Thats what I would do, if so called, you are prepared to lose this friend. I am already considering going to my friend's family already.

The best part is that I lend him my savings that I was saving for my daugther's education. I know it was a stupid decision. But I trusted him, and expected him to return me by then, as he proposed an installment plan too. He told me that the money borrowed will be used to save a life, but I found out it was used to save his own ######. Oh boy. Friendship and Trust all gone.

Money and friendship should never be mixed. Thats why you should never lend your friends money. Thats what banks and loan sharks are for. If your friend is an ######. Either let the bank ruin his life, or the loan shark to end his life.

Does not pay to be good hearted in this society. NKF is a shining example. Donate your hard earned dollar to them, only 10 cents goes to the patients.

As I like to put it: Well Done!

[LoReNsIa]

u guys one is ok lah.. my uncle lend money from my dad always.. and when they need money.. my dad still have to send the money to their door step. they are not pai seh.. first time 200.. second time 500.. and more and more.. first time reason is no money to pay house rent.. 2nd reason is pay PUB.. and so on and on lah.. quite piss off with them.. when they noe tt my dad have some cash in hand.. they will try their luck to ask for more.. as my dad is having crisis they juz carry on.. as they are my dad bro or cousin.. and my dad is way too kind to help them.. haiz.. for wad i have seen.. try not to be a good person too much.. cause in the end.. u will be the losing one.. try not to help.. not don help.. ya..

[jem]

darns..

money is the root of all evil..

good thing we have this hobby to teach us how to spend and save our money wisely..

erm..lorenzo bro..

my tank leaking ahhhh..i need $25 to buy silicon to patch it up..can lend me not?

aiyo!

i no more money to buy fish food..

lend me $10 to buy some lei...life and death situation =(

i sure return u one

[ozy]

If you are willing to lend her so much money in the first place, then her friendship should meant something to you. In that case, I suggest you have a good talk with her.

If you decided to take legal action, things may get ugly and you will probably lose this friend.

Bottomline, you have to decide if your friendship with her is worth the thousand plus dollars.

[Nickel]

Suggest you use another telephone to call her since she will avoid your number. Better still, confront her face-to-face.

No point going legal or debt collector as both charge you a big % of the loan.

BTW, you said due date just passed ? Maybe give a few more days while pressuring her may help.

Money and friendship don't mix and cannot be mixed. That is why business joint-ventures with friends rarely turn out well.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[fishtalk1517]

If u are lucky, the money will come back to u but dun think so soon.... Obviusly she trying to avoid ur sms...

Next is that treat it as u have invested the money and lost it, that way won't feel so bad abt it....

i've also got bad experiences with 2 good friend, but like Bro Jem says 'money is the root of all evil' with money lent out to them, really saw the TRUE COLOURS of these 2 guys.... Thus, ending story is tat NO more friends liao. By helping them, it nearly got me into some other trouble which is too lenghty to describe here .

Best thing of all to learn - MUST BE HARD HEARTED, Must pick up this line - SORRY I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO HELP U !!!! U may wan to find someone else !!!

[chtan23]

Come across this article on Sunday times, there is this debt collection service.

Ious_When_Lend_Money090105.pdf

[flying carpet]

I got a friend who own me a few thousand dollars from me. Never pay me back a single cent , the best thing is that he can ask me to go drink coffee and keep a straight face give me advice and not talk about money instead he ask me for more.

Now I also learn how to be HARD - HEARTED. Damn when I thing about the money I gave him I could set up a completely new tank. Aaarrrggghhh damnit heart pain

[shoelevy]

actually for you guys who have debts to you unpaid such as flying carpet, why do you guys not seek help from debt collectors?

even without an IOU these debt collectors can work too

i mean yeah sure u'll haf to pay a certain fee but beats having all the money gone right?

and i think such people like fly carpets friend...this kinda people are not friends are they? so if getting the money results in lost of friendship...would it not be ok?

just wanna hear different views on this issue...pls dun start flame war

[tayhonglee]

i think its actually the Love of money that is the root of all evil. not money per se.

[LoReNsIa]

darns..

money is the root of all evil..

good thing we have this hobby to teach us how to spend and save our money wisely..

erm..lorenzo bro..

my tank leaking ahhhh..i need $25 to buy silicon to patch it up..can lend me not?

aiyo!

i no more money to buy fish food..

lend me $10 to buy some lei...life and death situation =(

i sure return u one

wah.. haha.. silicone.. don need to buy lah.. i got extra.. =X

u need money to buy fish food? wad type/? mysis.? brine shrimps?

i juz bought 2 boxes.. i don mind sparing u few pieces.. haha..

sorry..

[BFG]

Shoelevy, how come your friend know you got money? Next time, just tell anyone whom may want to borrow some large amount of cash that you are saving up to buy some equipment for the tank lah. You must let your circle of friend know that running a marine tank 'waste' money. If they ask why you go into it, just say that you were bitten by the hobby bug. That will turn them away from you.

[Melvyn Tan]

Maybe you can ask her to pay in some other ways?

Perhaps via installments

[mUAr_cHEe]

Maybe you can ask her to pay in some other ways?

Perhaps via installments   

By market standards, One thousand odd bucks is like alot. REALLY alot.

If girl also high quality, it is like about a whole week loh. Each night got 2...

Wow!

[weisoon]

Its human nature for it is effortless to speak the words 'Can you lend me some money'. Especially if the person knows that you earn a lot of money or rich and they want a piece of your good fortune, or rather hard earned money. What can be easier to get the money other than just speaking a few words?

One also has to reciprocate with effortless speak of 'sorry, I am also tight on money recently' with a straight face without emotions.