Young, successful - and in search of a dream

[Lester]

Business Times

Published October 11, 2003

Young, successful - and in search of a dream

By DANIEL BUENAS

UNHAPPY - that's how I feel as a young Singaporean.

I feel this way not because I'm jobless, poor or uneducated. In fact, I have

a

good job, a stable income and a good education. By most standards, I should

be

considered a successful young man.

However, I am slowly realising that the achievements I have been chasing

are,

perhaps, a chimera. I have sought and yearned for success, when perhaps what

I

should have been looking for was happiness, or meaning in life.

This is the dilemma that the youth in Singapore face - we cannot reconcile

our

apparent success with our gnawing dissatisfaction with life, and nobody can

tell

us why.

What we suffer from is a crisis of the soul.

Young Singaporeans are getting lost in a world in which our worth as human

beings is tied to our material, social and physical successes.

However, as we look behind these successes, we often find the faded vestiges

of

what once were our dreams. Thus, our life's purpose has been drowned in the

ocean of practicality.

This distinction between success and happiness was brought home to me

recently

after the death of a friend. He had passed on suddenly and in the prime of

his

life, and his death shook me from the stupor of endless days of work.

I realised that I had perhaps neglected my family and friends around me

and,in

so doing, had lost the true meaning of life.

It is too late now, but if I could speak to my friend one last time, I

wouldn't

say anything. Instead, I would listen to what he had to say.

Why?

Because Singaporeans are too busy rushing to work, rushing from work and

rushing

at work. We don't take the time to listen to others.

His death made me reflect on my own life, and the search for happiness.

Sadly,

the need to find meaning in life wasn't one of the things I learnt at

school.

The need for success, however, was.

The desire for success is ingrained in our national psyche, and has been

pursued

with a fervour that equals - and often surpasses - religious zeal.

From young, we are streamed, labelled and forced into educational

moulds,emerging as world-class products of our world-class education system.

We

graduate equipped to be successful in life.

Yet, I feel that in some way, we are lacking. I was never taught to pursue

my

dreams. Instead, I was taught to be practical. I chose my field of study,

computer science, and my university based on practical considerations. I

thought

this would eventually lead to success. But success doesn't always translate

into

happiness.

Perhaps my idealism is brought about by a life that has not known the

cruelty of

war, or the bitter struggle for survival. Yet, I have met those who hold on

to

similar ideals, despite going through great suffering.

For instance, I recently interviewed a well-respected academic who spoke at

length with me on the virtues of finding meaning and purpose in what we do.

He

was no stranger to suffering, having lived through the Japanese occupation,

the

Communist revolution in China and nearly starving to death as a young boy.

After

so much hardship, one would expect him to extol the virtues of being

practical.

Instead, he spoke of passion, desire, purpose and happiness in what we do. I

found it ironic that it took a senior citizen to point this out to what he

called 'a handsome, energetic young man' (what I found even more ironic was

his

use of the word 'handsome').

Singaporean youth need to learn that our lives are not just about achieving

success and that we cannot rely on the government or society to provide us

with

the reason for our existence. If we do, we will surely come away

disillusioned

and disappointed.

More than anything, Singaporean youth need to know that the beauty of life

lies

in fulfilling our own dreams - not someone else's - and that we should not

fear

pursuing them, whatever they may be. Therein lies our road to happiness.

As Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it: 'The future belongs to those who

believe in the beauty of their dreams'.

The writer is a BT journalist. He is 24.

I never bullshit; I just tell people the truth and they think it's bullshit.

-

Jake Ciplas

[Lester]

after reading the above.... i suddenly realise so that many singaporean were in fact doing it including myself, rushing to work , no time for friends and family ..... wat do you guys thinks??? would like to hear some somments on it

cheers

[SpiderOne]

you'd be pretty screwed if you just stay home and play with your friends all day

[RAV-65]

after reading the above.... i suddenly realise so that many singaporean were in fact doing it including myself, rushing to work , no time for friends and family ..... wat do you guys thinks??? would like to hear some somments on it

cheers

I keep a very tight and hectic schedule everyday, but I still cherish time that can be spent with my family... may not be everyday, but at least one or two days a week... it's about quality, not just quantity...

[Lester]

you'd be pretty screwed if you just stay home and play with your friends all day

yap i agreed..

it just tat i can't help thinking on the working life style of singaporean.. some reali work 24/7 type..

luckily i still have some friends tat always tell me to relaxs abit .. hehe husk learned to eat abit of snake here and there .. hehe ops.. better not let my boss ssee this

hmm balancing work and free time .. is not tat easy atfer alll

but some pple are still able to do it ..

cheers

[ervine]

yah man study so much for what?? in the end work yourself to death for 20-30yrs just to pay off HDB loan, by the time pay finish too old to do anything liao...

come! quit ur jobs! let's go backpacking and see the world!!

[flubberina13]

Life in simplicity is what some relish...

But few would learn to cherish...

So much in this society that causes one to stumble into it and get caught up with it. If only we learn to sit back and relax. Live a life devoid of scheming and backstabbing and materialism. But would we become victims of the society in the process?

Heck...just CARPE DIEM...

[Lester]

Life in simplicity is what some relish...

But few would learn to cherish...

So much in this society that causes one to stumble into it and get caught up with it. If only we learn to sit back and relax. Live a life devoid of scheming and backstabbing and materialism. But would we become victims of the society in the process?

Heck...just CARPE DIEM...

hi .. sorry wat does CARPE DIEM means ???

cheers

[Rocks]

After reading this article. I too realised that I am slaved to my work.. I have not met up with any of my friends for the past 5 months.

Luckily I make it a point to spent quality time with family especially the children. I remembered once my son was complaining to me saying that I don't look into his eyes when he talk to me cos' I was too busy doing my office work at home.. I since changed to give my kids more attention and don't bring work back home.

Sometime I wonder how people can balance between work, family and friends... sigh. Work and family already took most of my time. Where friends come in then?

Hey! on the bright side, I have learn how to balance between Work, Family and a Marine Tank!

CHEERS!

[YzF]

After reading this article. I too realised that I am slaved to my work.. I have not met up with any of my friends for the past 5 months.

Luckily I make it a point to spent quality time with family especially the children. I remembered once my son was complaining to me saying that I don't look into his eyes when he talk to me cos' I was too busy doing my office work at home.. I since changed to give my kids more attention and don't bring work back home.

Sometime I wonder how people can balance between work, family and friends... sigh. Work and family already took most of my time. Where friends come in then?

Hey! on the bright side, I have learn how to balance between Work, Family and a Marine Tank!

CHEERS!

Well i'm too realised that almost every singaporean went through the same kind of lifestyle.

Study, study, more study, work, work, get married, buy a flat, buy a car, pay, paying, paid, retire, Dies.

Boring hor? But like not much choice leh.

[AlfaRomeo]

hi .. sorry wat does CARPE DIEM means ???

cheers

Seize the Day

[somebody]

we are actually not as "crazy to work" as some other ppl, like those in HK. yea. worked in a bank, and they always complain that hk spoil market, coz they always chiong, and work till midnight and stuff.. yea...

but for me, i think its like that because of the price of our "necessities" our house, and our cars, we never ever do OWN them.... hence we slog our lives for them...

[Rocks]

Maybe by normal singaporean standard this is consider lucky liao can have flat, car, and actually can RETIRE...

I wonder in years to come can Singaporean actually retire and enjoy the last few golden years of their life or they have to work till they draws the last breath..

[andysho]

i think only by having a salea job

that without an income ceiling is a big $$$

know ppl that earn up to 150,000 at least a year

[ervine]

but earn so much for what? in the end cannot bring to ur grave also...

I rather have an enriching life full of wonderful experiences than one full of memories of work only.... but then again, some people love their work.. if so then it's a different story

[somebody]

i wanna love my work too....

i wanna love my family too....

i wanna love my life....

[flying carpet]

I believe every individual have their own reasons why they work so hard and have no time for love ones.

It is call 'responsibility'!!!

Dun get me wrong here not trying to create trouble.

I mean the higher your responsibilty the lesser time you have for yourself hence the more time you spent at work. Even for myself my working hour starts at 10 till gods know to what time.

But when it come to my off day. Business aside family first.

Each and every Singaporean feel the pinch here constant pressure from the goverment asking us to invest and boost the economy.

But sad to say only a handful of us have the time to look back on the things we miss. Try to make relationship better.

Just a point of view guys. Peace.

[Melvyn Tan]

An excellent write-up !!!

[Lester]

Seize the Day

[tivoli]

Hi all,

My take is don't take loans and leverage too high ......

Too many people I know buy condo, buy big car, therefore has to

work hard and be slave to work... and they don't have the option to

quit and do other things cos got big bank loans.

I read that one of the reasons the govt make the land prices high and hdb flats high so that people will buy it and be slave to paying off the loan so that they will stay in singapore and not migrate .......

The point is live simply and live a life ...... work will never finish but our life will ....

[limbssg]

there are so many deterrent factors that make it not easy to migrate. Some are things created by govt (be a Stayer / Quitter as said by a minister), some are personal reasons like the fear of unable to adapt well in another country etc. Since young, most pple do not have the adventurous spirit make a breakthrough in another enviroment. We are easily satisfied with material things and thus willing to be a slave just to get them. At the end of the day, can it bring you happiness or it creates more problems?

[mabro]

I think it really depends on what dreams, or expectation, are individual persuing. There's no right or wrong answer. The most difficult part is to be FOCUS and DECIDE on what you really want, because not everybody are borned the same, nor every family will react to the same work/ family situation. The more extreme cases will be either work very hard, earn a lot of money but spent little time with family, and hope that the family will appreciate your effort; or put in minimum effort to keep the job and grab every oppotunity you can spend time with your family, hoping that they won't mind the not so luxury life.

It's weekend, go relax ............................

[mabro]

BTW, nice frogfish..........

[andysho]

Well , i think is up to each personal thinking...

If one want to earn tones of money ~ just go ahead

If one wants to spent time with friends , gf or bf , just go ahead

just see which is more impt to you

I used to have friend that earn lots of moeny , then gf also no more

but the thing is they still happy as ever .. why?

because they are loaded and find more chio gf

So i think in the end . it still depend wat type of happiness we want

in this world, humans basically go after two things $$$ and Love

Worse things is you dun even have .......

[Lester]

BTW, nice frogfish..........

sir