Funny adverts

[pangz]

Something funny to share.....

De-Classified Ads (Actual excerpts from classified newspaper sections)

1) Illiterate? Write today for free help.

2) Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,

you'll never go anywhere again.

3) Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard,

meals, and smacks included.

4) Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

5) Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel

6) Stock up and save. Limit: one.

7) Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.

8) 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

9) Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for

efficient beating.

10) Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off-head illusion. Blue

Cross and salary.

11) Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children

$2.00

12) For sale; and antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and

large drawers.

13) Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra

pair to take home, too.

14) We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully

by hand.

15) For sale. Three canaries of undermined ######.

16) Great Dames for sale.

17) Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful > >

condition.

18) Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

19) Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

20) Mr. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.

Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

21) The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds,

and other athletic facilities.

22) Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

23) Roaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. > >

Automatically burns toast.

24) For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

25) Man, honest. Will take anything.

26) Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

27) Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

28) Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

29) Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

30) Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

31) Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to

assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of

contributing to growth of family.

32) And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,

unrivaled inconvenience.

33) We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home

for $1.00.

[hammy]

brighten up my boring day. thanks

[tcs9423]

Whoa..

really had a good laugh..

thanks!!

[zehuan]