XiaoBaiTu Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 > 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window > 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. > 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions. > > > Girl : Do you love me ? > Boy : Yes Dear > Girl : Would you die for me ? > Boy : No, mine is undying love > > > Man : How old is your father ? > Boy : As old as me > Man : How can that be ? > Boy : He became a father only when I was born > > > Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. > Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card. > > > Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your > brother's. Did u copy his? > Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog! > > > Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! > Son : That's why I say she's no good! > > > Manager : Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help. > Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right person in this > case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway! > > > Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such masterpieces?" > College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B." > > > "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will > be coming to school." > "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u > told her u are the only child?" > "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'" > > > Teacher: "Where were u born?" > Student: "Singapore, Sir." > Teacher: "Which part?" > Student: "All of me, Sir." > > > Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday." > Chong : "You're wrong, Sir." > Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?" > Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!" > > > A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' > and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. > "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher. > "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal is a > sick eagle." > > > Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news. > Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first. > Doctor : The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours > to live. > Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very > bad news? > Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. > > > Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? > Doctor : You've had an accident involving a train. > Patient : What happened? > Doctor : Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you > like to hear first? > Patient : Well... The bad news first ... > Doctor : Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of > them. > Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news? > Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your > slippers. > > > Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled? > Dentist : $90.00. > Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? > Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like. > > > Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?" > Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir." > Teacher : "Use your dad's then." > Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir." > > > A boy came home from school with his exam results. > "What did u get?" asked his father. > "My marks are under water," said the boy. > "What do u mean 'under water'?" > "They are all below 'C' level" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRC Member zehuan Posted August 17, 2005 SRC Member Share Posted August 17, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apollo Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Tks for the jokes Where yu get them man? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRC Member Dorado Posted August 17, 2005 SRC Member Share Posted August 17, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRC Member flying carpet Posted August 17, 2005 SRC Member Share Posted August 17, 2005 Sick eagle joke is the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRC Member AREA51 Posted August 17, 2005 SRC Member Share Posted August 17, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.