Jokes to share

[XiaoBaiTu]

> 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window

> 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

> 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

>

>

> Girl : Do you love me ?

> Boy : Yes Dear

> Girl : Would you die for me ?

> Boy : No, mine is undying love

>

>

> Man : How old is your father ?

> Boy : As old as me

> Man : How can that be ?

> Boy : He became a father only when I was born

>

>

> Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

> Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

>

>

> Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

> brother's. Did u copy his?

> Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

>

>

> Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

> Son : That's why I say she's no good!

>

>

> Manager : Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.

> Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact, I'm just the right person in

this

> case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!

>

>

> Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such masterpieces?"

> College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."

>

>

> "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who

will

> be coming to school."

> "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when

u

> told her u are the only child?"

> "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"

>

>

> Teacher: "Where were u born?"

> Student: "Singapore, Sir."

> Teacher: "Which part?"

> Student: "All of me, Sir."

>

>

> Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."

> Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."

> Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"

> Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

>

>

> A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'

> and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.

> "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.

> "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal is a

> sick eagle."

>

>

> Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.

> Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

> Doctor : The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24

hours

> to live.

> Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the very

> bad news?

> Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

>

>

> Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

> Doctor : You've had an accident involving a train.

> Patient : What happened?

> Doctor : Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you

> like to hear first?

> Patient : Well... The bad news first ...

> Doctor : Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of

> them.

> Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news?

> Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your

> slippers.

>

>

> Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled?

> Dentist : $90.00.

> Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes work???

> Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like.

>

>

> Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"

> Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."

> Teacher : "Use your dad's then."

> Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."

>

>

> A boy came home from school with his exam results.

> "What did u get?" asked his father.

> "My marks are under water," said the boy.

> "What do u mean 'under water'?"

> "They are all below 'C' level"

[zehuan]

[apollo]

Tks for the jokes

Where yu get them man?

[Dorado]

[flying carpet]

Sick eagle joke is the best.

[AREA51]