Criticise Like A Man But Apologize Like A Wimp

[Gouldian]

I think he is just starting to step into the working world.... Hopefully he will learn that being abrasive, direct and arrogant will get him into lots and lots of trouble...

Yah loh, thus he should start to learn from his more seniors friends instead dwelling / hiding in the past.

I think MC and my personal experiences are important truning points that I can use to convince him that its time for him to grow up. And be responsible to what he can or cannot say in the future.

[neokn]

Okie, I own up. This person is me, moi, aku, watasiwa, wo.

[Gouldian]

Okie, I own up. This person is me, moi, aku, watasiwa, wo.

No lah, my friend is not here lah. Neokn, all of us in SRC knows you well. You are a responsible young man and I can't wait to meet you.

I can still remember your advises and encouragements when I wanted to keep AT. Never have chance to formally thank you.

[neokn]

No lah, my friend is not here lah. Neokn, all of us in SRC knows you well. You are a responsible young man and I can't wait to meet you.

I can still remember your advises and encouragements when I wanted to keep AT. Never have chance to formally thank you.

For this, I'm flatted. Thank you.

[AquaRa]

I think he is just starting to step into the working world.... Hopefully he will learn that being abrasive, direct and arrogant will get him into lots and lots of trouble...

you're all missing the point here. gouldian is so old, his friend cannot be too young either. since he's so old already, there's no time for him to 'mature'. it's too idealistic. it will never happen if you don't provide him with the circumstances under which he will 'mature.' just tell him straight in the face, when he criticise people, like, 'can you just shut up?' if everyone does that to him, he'll naturally get the idea.

i assume the problem here is because gouldian is too kindhearted he doesn't want to tell the guy straight in the face. that's the problem with some of the people who replied to this thread. just tell him straight, show him that society has no place for a person with such a 'unique' character. he'll have to change. force him to.

anyways, assuming isn't too good either... it makes an ###### out of u and me.

[Achilles Tang]

I have seen too many adults behave like kids and some kids behaving better than adults.

I guess its all in the character of the person already.

Unless he sees the error of his ways and want to change for the better, MOST IMPORTANTLY, for HIMSELF and not for OTHERS... then there is hope.

As a friend, you could gently guide him or do it the hard way and tell him off, whatever the case, if he sees you meant it well and you meant it genuinely, perhaps he will be touched enough to ponder long enough to decide if there is a need to change, FOR HIMSELF.

I'm sure most of us are grown up enough to not repeat mistakes.

All the best to you and your friend.

2 cents,

AT

[flubberina13]

Just be careful that you have not been serving him too many 'comfort pillows'. Otherwise...you have 'cushioned' him too much to allow him to see the reality of the 'real' world.

[seamonkee]

I have seen too many adults behave like kids and some kids behaving better than adults.

I guess its all in the character of the person already.

Unless he sees the error of his ways and want to change for the better, MOST IMPORTANTLY, for HIMSELF and not for OTHERS... then there is hope.

As a friend, you could gently guide him or do it the hard way and tell him off, whatever the case, if he sees you meant it well and you meant it genuinely, perhaps he will be touched enough to ponder long enough to decide if there is a need to change, FOR HIMSELF.

I'm sure most of us are grown up enough to not repeat mistakes.

All the best to you and your friend.

2 cents,

AT

Fully agree....

Sometimes I look back at the things I said or done when I was sweet 18... gosh... I can wonder and laugh at my own antics... then to think back, I appreciate those who tried to wake me up from my bad behaviour... hard to swallow it may be then, but looking back now, these are the people I appreciate.

PS. I still do some silly antics once a while now at 32 to remind me of my erring human nature....

[SpiderOne]

i used to have some friends like that . best way to deal with them problem :

Ditch him . let him go bother someone else . if he calls you tell him to get lost . Dont ever bother urself with him anymore . Note: this only works if you are a non sentimental heartless bastard like myself .

[madmac]

being brought as a Catholic all my life... and I'm not perfect... this is a good case where lying gets you and the other party nowhere... Truth always prevail, sooner or later, you can't prevent it, so don't... being kind-hearted won't help either (good one, Sis Flub... comfort pillows..? -- don't we all love it).

If this person is obviously someone you care about, then speak whats on your mind... keeping quite is also considered a lie... a lie to yourself and him/her too.. because your suffering in silence and in frustration in seeing him/her like continue like this... besides what make you think you're right in the first place... so by speaking out your mind... you trash out your thoughts with those that matter to you... that is very impt as it sets the agenda... this makes the matter clear.. when you hv clarity, you can't have misunderstandings... which often times leads to breakups... so don't lie, its really that simple...

don't like something say it, say it loud and clear, say it fast and if you like something say it too... because ppl can't guess your thoughts and what you wish... (ps: I hv this problem with my wife... I sometimes jus don't know whats on her mind, say no, sometimes mean yes, etc...nowadays much better.. she jus yells at me, if she wants something... yucks, and because I'm getting deaf... )...

When you don't know, don't say it...ask about it.... thats another problem with us... we tell when we should ask...

When you say it, delivery is important, think about the other person, if he/she is a gentle one, then be gentle, pad your sayings with like... I don't feel comfortable with the way... .... ... ...

If he/she is anything but gentle, then be the same back, but pls speak your mind.

and AquaRa/SpiderOne, everybody is unique... in everyone there is hope (including you SO, the heartless person) ... theres enough for everyone is this world, good or bad, rich or poor, black or white.. don't you forget that now, theres only not enough for GREED. Jus speaking my mind, no offence to anyone. Look at SeaMonkey, isn't that a great testimony... had his friends kept quite... he wouldn't even be grateful at the least... (all the best for your job interview... didn't forget the prayers)

[Gouldian]

Great inspirations form the reefers here, I have learn alot today!

Thank you all. Lets hope we will have a better tomorrow.

[AquaRa]

being brought as a Catholic all my life... and I'm not perfect... this is a good case where lying gets you and the other party nowhere... Truth always prevail, sooner or later, you can't prevent it, so don't... being kind-hearted won't help either (good one, Sis Flub... comfort pillows..? -- don't we all love it).

If this person is obviously someone you care about, then speak whats on your mind... keeping quite is also considered a lie... a lie to yourself and him/her too.. because your suffering in silence and in frustration in seeing him/her like continue like this... besides what make you think you're right in the first place... so by speaking out your mind... you trash out your thoughts with those that matter to you... that is very impt as it sets the agenda... this makes the matter clear.. when you hv clarity, you can't have misunderstandings... which often times leads to breakups... so don't lie, its really that simple...

don't like something say it, say it loud and clear, say it fast and if you like something say it too... because ppl can't guess your thoughts and what you wish... (ps: I hv this problem with my wife... I sometimes jus don't know whats on her mind, say no, sometimes mean yes, etc...nowadays much better.. she jus yells at me, if she wants something... yucks, and because I'm getting deaf... )...

When you don't know, don't say it...ask about it.... thats another problem with us... we tell when we should ask...

When you say it, delivery is important, think about the other person, if he/she is a gentle one, then be gentle, pad your sayings with like... I don't feel comfortable with the way... .... ... ...

If he/she is anything but gentle, then be the same back, but pls speak your mind.

and AquaRa/SpiderOne, everybody is unique... in everyone there is hope (including you SO, the heartless person) ... theres enough for everyone is this world, good or bad, rich or poor, black or white.. don't you forget that now, theres only not enough for GREED. Jus speaking my mind, no offence to anyone. Look at SeaMonkey, isn't that a great testimony... had his friends kept quite... he wouldn't even be grateful at the least... (all the best for your job interview... didn't forget the prayers)

next time i don't give my opinions liao.

[mUAr_cHEe]

next time i don't give my opinions liao.

juz comments nia...

dun take it to heart...

ju learn frm it....

[Gouldian]

Aquara - your opinions are greatly appreciated!.