The Official SRC Joke Thread!

[wolfie]

nw we noe...

stil got some more...

[victorp]

Three lawyers and three Engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three Engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective

seats but all three Engineers cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So (recognizing the Engineers' superior intellect) after the

conference, the lawyers decide to copy the Engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one

perplexed lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Engineer.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a toilet. The three Engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the Engineers leaves his toilet and

walks over to the toilet where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

[wolfie]

[victorp]

A guy was at the supermarket and after buying a few things he began to queue up in this really long line for the checkout. After about 15 minutes in the line he reached the checkout girl and just at that moment he remembered that he needed some condoms.

Not wanting to line up again he said to the girl "Oh I meant to buy some condoms but forgot"

"Do you know what size you are ?" she asked.

"No".

"OK drop your pants and I'll tell you what size you are".

The guy then, not being the shy type, drops his trousers and the girl has a feel with her hand and then says in the microphone "1 packet of large condoms to aisle 3 please", he pulls up his trousers, the condoms are brought to him and he pays his bill and goes on his way.

Another male customer sees this and thinks he'd like to have this nice girl fondling his prick and so says the same thing to the girl. A similar course of events takes place, only this time after having a feel she says "One packet of medium sized condoms to aisle 3 please", the condoms are then brought to him and he pays the bill and goes on his way.

Also watching this course of events was a rather excitable 15 year old boy who then decides to queue up and try the same routine.

"I'd like to buy some condoms please, but I forgot" he says.

"Do you know what size you are?"

"No."

"OK, I'll check. Whoops, mop and bucket to aisle 3 please!"

[victorp]

COMPUTERS IN LOVE

Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

One evening, he arrived home just as the Sun was crashing and had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (for he had missed the 56000 Bus that morning). He noticed an elegant piece of daisy-wheels in his garden and he thought to himself: "She looks user-friendly. I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like COBOL and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all over the place.

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin, 32-bit floating-point processors, smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions and he enquired: "How are you, Honeywell?"

Micro settled for a straight-line approximation. "I am stand-alone tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my base address? I'll output a byte to eat and maybe we could get offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted 8k: "I've been dumped myself recently and a new page is just what I need to refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside." She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking: "Wow! What a global variable! I wonder if she'd like my firmware..."

They sat down at the process table to a top-of-form-feed of fiche and chips and a bucket of baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements although, in reality, he was analysing the shortest and least critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old "Would you like to see my benchmark subroutine?", but Mini was again one step ahead.

Suddenly, she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full functionality of her operating system software. "Let get BASIC, you RAM," she said. Micro was loaded by this hardware policing module which had a processor of it's own and was in danger of overflowing its buffer and hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about. "Core," was all he could say as she separated to log him off.

Micro soon recovered, however, when Mini went down on the DEC and opened her divide files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully packed root device and was about to start pushing into her CPU stack when she attempted an escape sequence.

"No, no!" she cried. "You're not shielded."

"Reset baby," he replied. "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child processes," she protested.

"Don't run away," he said. "I'll generate an interrupt."

"No, that's too error-prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."

Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But Mini soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and went to sleep.

"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself. "All they ever think of is hex."

[kelstorm]

According to Iraqi sources, Saddam killed his wife last nite....

It was because he saw BUSH!!!!

[spade]

To: All Staff,

As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced to introduce the following cost-cutting

measures to help shore up our beloved company.

I know you will understand that the pain is temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company

comes through these difficult times stronger.... and ready to ride the next big wave.

So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to the following:

a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has already serialised them.

b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further - up to Yong Peng.

c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have

arranged with Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin from the window.

d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.

e. The Valentine's Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in February: Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them (expiry date: Jan 2004).

f. Monthly Best Employee Award: The $1000 cash award will now be replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.

g. Annual Best Employee Award: The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white chocolates.

h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical Hall in Sungei Road. Bring you company pass for a 10% discount.

i. Country Club Memberships: Senior executives must return their membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan Community Centre.

j. Transport Allowance: No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid on alternate months.

k. Gifts for clients: New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.

l. Annual Dinner & Dance: No change (Dec 24, yay!), but the venue is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle's flat in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.

m. Bonus: This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on Dec 5.

From: Chief Financial Officer

[Achilles Tang]

A heartwarming story of the advances of women in achieving equality

throughout the world.

I, Barbara Walters, did a story on gender roles in Kabul several

years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. Barbara returned to Kabul recently and observed that men now walked several yards behind their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women to achieve this reversal of roles?"

"Land mines," said the woman

[kelstorm]

This is funny....How to Get Drunk & Still Score Points with the Wife

>

>

> The guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to

> open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins

and a

> glass of water on the side table.? He sits down and sees his

clothing in

> front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and

sees

> that it is in a perfect order, spotless clean.? And so's the rest of

the

> house.

> He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey,

breakfast

> is on the stove.? Love you."? So he goes to the kitchen and sure

enough

> there is a hot breakfast, fresh newspaper. His son is also at the

table,

> eating.

>

> Father (F): "Son, what happened yesterday?"

>

> Son (S): "Oh, the usual.? You came home after 3 am, drunk and

delirious.

> Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave mom a black

eye."

>

> (F): "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and the food

> is on the table?"

>

> (S): "Oh that!? Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she

> tried to take your pants off you said "Bitch! Leave me alone, I am

> married!"

[Golden Tooth]

Sure to score.

[Nautical]

okay lah, not trying to score brownie points.

it would be good to enjoy some jokes and brighten up our days and nites leh.

[Achilles Tang]

Time to revive this favourite old thread!!!

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news! I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell, because the young couples haven't paid their last bill. "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company. "What are you saying? It's in your files?????" "Absolutely." "Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull,

rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.

"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month

overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." "PAY you? And if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off." "What???? And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

[Achilles Tang]

[Achilles Tang]

[Achilles Tang]

THE FIVE SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks, cleans up and has a job.

2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It is important to find a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to

you.

4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be

with you.

5. It is very important that these four women don't know each other.

[Achilles Tang]

Any lawyers in the house?

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official records

nationwide:

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in

most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about

it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify

me.'

Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have children or anything of that kind?

9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?

A: That's me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I'll be three months on November 8.

Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?

A: Yes

Q: What were you doing at the time?

13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14. So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None

Q: Were there girls?

16. You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like,

but can you describe it?

17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?

A: Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a

stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to

strike the next question."

20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body

of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy!

[Achilles Tang]

A damn good one!

> > > A fellow was ordered by his doctor to lose 75

> > > lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered

> > > how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across

> > > an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

> > >

> > > "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But

> > > desperate, he calls

> > > them up and subscribes to the 3-day/10 pound weight loss

> > > program.

> > >

> > > The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers,

> > > there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe

> > > dressed in

> > > nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck.

> > > She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss

company.

> > > The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

> > >

> > > Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles

> > > later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way

with

> > > her.

> > > After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like

> > > the

> > > way this company does business!"

> > >

> > > The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same

> > > thing happens.

> > >

> > > On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find

> > > he has lost 10 lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their

> > > 5-day/20 pound program.

> > >

> > > The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the

> > > most stunning, beautiful, ###### woman he has ever seen in his life,

> > > wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck

> > > that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."

> > >

> > > He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in

> > > excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he

> > > does, it

> > > is worth every cramp and wheeze.

> > >

> > > For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to

> > > his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and found he has lost

> > > another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the

> > > company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

> > >

> > > "Are you sure?! ", asks the representative on the phone."This

> > > is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't

> > > felt

> > > this good in years."

> > >

> > > The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it

> > > he finds a very large man standing there wearing nothing but pink

> > > running shoes, a big leer on his face and a sign around his neck that

> > > reads,

> > > ......... "If I catch you, you're mine."

[Achilles Tang]

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Support: "What sort of trouble?"

Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",

Support: "Went away?"

Customer:"They disappeared."

Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer: "Nothing."

Support: "Nothing?"

Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer: "How do I tell?"

Support: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer: "What's a monitor?"

Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer: ......"Yes, I think so."

Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer: ......"Yes, it is."

Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer: ......"Okay, here it is."

Support: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer: "I can't reach."

Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

Support: "Dark?

Customer: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer:"I can't."

Support: "No? Why not?"

Customer: "Because there's a power outage."

Support: "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Support: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Support: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Support: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[Archilles19]

There was once an advertisment involving Italians...cant remember if its for Shell or Ferrari......anyway....

The small boy was standing behind the fence looking at the red flaming Ferraris exiting from the workshop when a man from the workshop said....`Chao Ancho'..& the boy replied `Chao Romano'.....(anyone remember this advert)...?

Question....

What if an Ah Beng replace the boy......

The man from the workshop saw the Ah Beng & said...`Chao Ancho'........& the Ah Beng will surely reply.....`Chao #@$##@#$'

[Achilles Tang]

> > > > English: Hello, here is my passport.

> > > > Singlish: Nah.

> > > >

> > > > English: Where do I go to collect my luggage?

> > > > Singlish: Take bag go where, ah?

> > > >

> > > > English: You mean chewing gum is prohibited in Singapore?

> > > > Singlish: Gum cannot, meh?

> > > >

> > > > English: I'm being fined? Oh dear.

> > > > Singlish: Kena saman? Die, lah.

> > > >

> > > > English: What shall we have for dinner this evening?

> > > > Singlish: Tonight eat what, ah?

> > > >

> > > > English: I'm open to suggestions.

> > > > Singlish: Anything also can.

> > > >

> > > > English: Do you have a reservation?

> > > > Singlish: You early-early call, not?

> > > >

> > > > English: Yes, it's reserved under the name "Tan".

> > > > Singlish: My name 'Tan'!

> > > >

> > > > English: Please wait a moment while we attend to your table.

> > > > Singlish: Your name 'Tan', so you 'tan' here awhile, can?

> > > >

> > > > English: This way to your table, please.

> > > > Singlish: Come!

> > > >

> > > > English: What would you recommend?

> > > > Singlish: Here got what, ah?

> > > >

> > > > English: Our speciality is fine European haute cuisine.

> > > > Singlish: Ang mor makan, lor.

> > > >

> > > > English: Would you recommend this dish?

> > > > Singlish: This dish how, ah?

> > > >

> > > > English: It's alright.

> > > > Singlish: Can, lah.

> > > >

> > > > English: The steak here is exceptional.

> > > > Singlish: Here the steak is tok kong.

> > > >

> > > > English: We also have a fine selection of pasta.

> > > > Singlish: Also got mee.

> > > >

> > > > English: Perhaps the fettucine or linguine?

> > > > Singlish: Mee pok, mee kia, also got.

> > > >

> > > > English: Would you care to sample our desserts?

> > > > Singlish: You want lizard?

> > > >

> > > > English: May I have the bill, please?

> > > > Singlish: (mime signing cheque)

> > > >

> > > > English: The prices here are rather steep.

> > > > Singlish: Wah, here damn ex, man.

> > > >

> > > > English: Next time, I'd rather eat at a hawker center.

> > > > Singlish: Go hawker center also better

[Achilles Tang]

The guy wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotlessly clean. And so's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast, fresh newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Father (F): "Son, what happened yesterday?"

Son (S): "Oh, the usual.? You came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave mom a black eye."

(F): "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and the food is on the table?"

(S): "Oh that!? Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said "Bitch! Leave me alone, I am married!"

[Achilles Tang]

Do you know the reason why Singapore government restricts the citizens

not

>to buy chewing gum?

>

>Here is the story.

>

>One day LKY went to Thailand and had lobster at the dinner

with

>the

>Thai King.

>After Lee finished, he asked the King:

>Lee : Your Highness, what can you do with this lobster skin?

>King: We cannot do anything with it, we just throw away.

>Lee : Oh, no. In our country, we send it to the factory and produce

some

>prawn cracker.

>

>Then Lee had an orange. After he finished, he asked the King.

>Lee : What can you do with the orange skin?

>King: We cannot do anything. We just throw away.

>Lee : Oh, no. In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce some

>orange jam.

>

>Then Lee asked for some chewing gum.

>After he finished, he put on the plate and asked the King.

>Lee : What can you do with the chewing gum?

>King: Oh, no. We just throw it away.

>Lee : In Singapore, we send it to the factory and produce condoms and

send

>it to Thailand.

>

>Lee said good bye to the King and the King asked Lee.

>King: What can you do with the condom when you finish using it?

>Lee : We cannot do anything. We throw it away.

>King: In Thailand when we finish using the condom, we send it to the

>factory

>to produce chewing gum and send it back to Singapore.

[Achilles Tang]

An elderly couple went to watch a contest for the

>strongest bull.

>

>After the contest they went to the 3rd prize bull's owner,

>wanting to know what his secret was.

>

>The woman asked; "How do you make your bull so strong?"

>The owner said; "You have to make sure the bull makes love

>once a week."

>The woman turned to her husband and said;"See!"

>

>The old man was displeased but said nothing.

>They then went to the 2nd prize bull's owner and the old

>woman asked the same question, to which the owner replied; "You must

make

>sure your bull makes love 2 or 3 times a week." Again the woman

turned

>to her husband and said; "See! See!"

>

>The old man was annoyed but remained silent.

>They then went to the 1st prize bull's owner and again the

>old woman asked the same question. The reply was; "You must make sure

your

>bull

>makes love at least once every day." The woman turned to her husband

>and said;"See! See! See!".

>

>This time the old man got angry and asked the owner; "But

>does your bull always make love to the same cow?" The

>owner replied; "No, no. Many many cows." The old man

>quickly turned to the old woman and said; "SEE! SEE! SEE! SEE!!!!!!

[Achilles Tang]

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second one says: "Ha! You think that`s fast? My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45."

[Achilles Tang]

Laughter is the best medicine...

> > > >

> > > > Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly

> > > > patients.

> > > > He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?"

> > > >

> > > > Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the

> >strangest

> > > > thing.

> > > > Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on

for

> >me

> > > > automatically when I open the door!"

> > > >

> > > > The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he

phones

> >the

> > > > man's son, and the son's wife answers.

> > > >

> > > > The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your

> > > > father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and

> >opens

> > > >

> > > > the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on...

> > > >

> > > > At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the

fridge

> > > > again!"

> > > > _______________________________________

> > > >

> > > > About Frogs in Hokkien:

> > > > QUESTION : How do you know frogs are Hokkien?

> > > > ANSWER : Because when it's cold, they go "kwah, kwah, kwah".

> > > >

> > > > QUESTION : How do Hokkien prawns laugh?

> > > > ANSWER : Hae hae hae (hokkien for prawns)

> > > >

> > > > QUESTION : How do Hokkien fish laugh?

> > > > ANSWER : Hee hee hee (hokkien for fish)

> > > >

> > > > QUESTION : What's the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy

> >Tales?

> > > > ANSWER : Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."

> > > > and Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka

li

> > > > kong..."

> > > > -----------------------------------------------------

> > > >

> > > > Subject: Hokkien - just for a laugh

> > > >

> > > > Ah Lian called Ah Beng over the telephone.

> > > >

> > > > Lian: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all

> >the

> > > > edges cannot fix together, leh."

> > > >

> > > > Beng: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?"

> > > >

> > > > Lian: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in

> > > > talkingcock.com".

> > > >

> > > > Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah."

> > > >

> > > > Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to

the

> > > > kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.

> > > >

> > > > Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn

> > > > flakes

> > > > into the box, lah."