what to do .. i am helpless.....

[sps_dude]

hi guys..... i am heartbroken........ i am having a wonderful relationship with this girl....... she's a nice girl really.....these days recently... she have been avoiding my call......... i admit my mistake of abit not trusting her... but i cant help it..... her frenz all those suspicious character.......i called her once...... she said.... stupid idiot... then just hang up the phone........ i feel so dejected ..... so helpless........ my question is should i continue our relationship.. or forget about it...... she has did this to me before...... she did this too many times..... i have had enough....... so how guys .... should i save it or break it.....??????thanks.......

[riot]

dump.

Its obvious she treats you badly, and often too. Its not possible to take this forever. You are gonna break, sooner or later. Sooner better

[shiraz]

most likely she wants a break up lor thats why she is treating u like this... has she been like this ever since the start? cannot be isn't it.. so why not give her what she wants since she wants to break up..

if she suddenly wants to come back to you, she will but if not... there are other girls out there dude...

[Vinoth]

Trust is the more important thing in relationship. If not it wont continue. Always fighting. Why dont u both discuss about ur problems? Be open. Try to find a solution.

[Melvyn Tan]

How old r u and she?

[Creetin]

bro, my advice is:

just go and get some corals and chill out with your reef tank...girls can always find la, dont worry.

[ryz]

wah... too lousy treatment already... forget her... trust issues cannot be solved by her calling u an idiot... too much to take... if it was me my pride will keep me away from her. good luck bro sounds like u got an ah lian girlfren

[terryansimon]

I'd advocate a different approach.

talk to her first. find out what is pestering her and troubling her. and see how it goes from there. if it doesn't look good, end it. at least in this way, you end of the relationship in a more upbeat manner, rather than both of you mis-trusting each other or at each other's throats.

be firm. be strong. trust your instincts. (=

[yuji]

Something is definitely not right when you mentioned that she 'complained' you don't give her enough trust. Have you been acting in a certain way that puts her off? And what exactly is she complaining about you not trusting her?

If your answer to the above is positive on yourself, then great. No worries (no cheating, you better be frank to yourself). If anyone is to worry, that would be her.

But if you do admit that you have a problem that she's complaining of, then perhaps you had better do some soul searching and find the problem - and solve it.

Good luck.

[rockfish]

hmm .. bro .. wat do u think ..?? if she always does that to u.. for no good reason .. then forget it ..

if u are at fault .. then i got nothing to say ..

my point is that ... if she treats u like shit .. then .. forget it ...

sometime .. when u give up .. she will only realised that u were there ..

[shoelevy]

hey bro...chill

i agree with those on top...if u feel u didn't do anithing wrong or even if u did u feel that she's ove reacting then i think its time to end it...she treats u too badly.

and try to do sth to distract u by then..u'l forget her...do sth major to your tank like upgrade equipment or sth....i did that when someone special let for USA for 8yrs...didn't feel that sad when she let for the plane and i stayed home.

relax man...got other girls

[typrobin]

in my opinion, she might have gotten bored of the relationship...

if i love someone, i won't call her an idiot...although i do slam phone but i will always call her back after i cool down...

u mentioned that she has been avoiding your call...it shows that she is either pissed off with u or couldn't be bothered...

if she is pissed off, find out why...and try to resolve...

if u feel that she can't be bothered, then y should u??

on your part, u have to trust your partner...i have a terrible past, but my gf trust me and gives me all the freedom that i want...now i dun flirt around with other gals anymore...rather, i spend all my time on my tank, which she equally hates...hehehehe...but the point i'm trying to push is that u need to trust her or whoever next...if there's no trust then its very torturing for yourself and her as well...

[Chris]

My only advice....

communicate and understand before action.

And always remember...you're a DUDE, though a SPS one....

[sps_dude]

its been like that since day 1..... i have tolerated her.......... recently.... she got these phonecalls from the same guy frequently... an average of 5 per day........ i cant help but feel suspicious right....... i asked her who is he...... she say.. dont trust me .... hang up........ shes an ah lian all right.... i am 17 and she is 18...... we have dated since i was in sec 1......haiz... whjat u guys advice..... i really cant stand her anymore.......... thats why i am asking ur guys opinion....... i dont want to do anything rash...... one more thing is both of us came frm different background..... shes super rich..... i am a poor guy..... wonder if this will affect anything.....

[sps_dude]

one more thing... is she dont always tell me her problems.. she always prefer to confide in her friends...... that makes me doubly upset..... my conscience is clear..... i mean come on guys..... will u be upset if a certain guy call ur wife/gf 5 times a day... and talk something which makes ur GF laugh.....and one more thing.... u guys... whats ur opinion..???

[surfedelic]

You need 2 party to clap.

[riot]

No offence bro but you dont buy the first fish you see at the lfs. Sec 1! It appears that she might have outgrown your tank since then. A groupa fry looks cute on day 1, but a few years later, you better watch out. Go LFS shopping, compare around. There are other livestock to pick, you might find a great bargain.

dump

[AlfaRomeo]

Agree with Riot and the rest of the bros. Dump her.. lots of fishes in the sea.. Hope you have fully 'utilised' her for the past couple of years or so

[untouchables]

dump her. there are many fishes in the ocean

but if u r not done with her, heck utilise and then dump. hahaha revenge of the men! women have been playing men out for too long!

[surfedelic]

Before you dump her - give her a good scolding to wake her up....don't waste your last round

[minsmarine]

Hey Dude,

While I was reading your post and a few reply, I came in to conclution that you and her must have different background, either rich and poor or beauty and ugly, or some case may be both. In that kind of say, guy doesn't trust gal mean , he is in the lower side which mean he is in the losing side by poor or/and ugly.

However it's not that you don't "TRUST" her, the point is you just don't feel "SECURE" that she will love you for the rest of her life or some periods. So every single thing , you will be asking question like who is that, why are you doing that, so on so forth.

For the first a few year ( may be in mid 10s ), she loves it , cause it's fun to have someone jelous whatever she does. For long run , she start feeling not good. I believe both of you are in first love. Do you know the rule ? First love never successes.

And I can guess you want "SECURE" thing do or die guy and she is someone proud of wealth and/or beauty. It's difficult match. However, it's not difficult to success as long as some one willing to trade in.

First , think yourself, "Are you sure you love her, by mean TRUELY ?". Defination of Love can be a lot different meaning. Some people say, love means given, love means taking, love means forgiving, so on so forth ( gee so many definations ). Given that you TRUELY LOVE HER, than I would advise.

1. Give her some time to cool down ( may be don't give her a call, but you have to find the way to let her know that you are always there for her ).

2. When opportunity arrives, give her 100 sorry and promise her that you will change.

3. Told her all the past unhappiness were caused by LOVE and you feel not secure.

4. Tie her down, by way of bringing her to your family occuation ( if you had done, may be think higher than that, I can't suggest here but PM ).

5. Try not to show your "UNSECURE" points any more to her. Always trust her ( even if you don't , don't show on the face and action ).

IF SHE LOVES YOU ENOUGH, things will be better in 3-4 weeks time.

Always remember, LOVE TAKES LONG TIME

Someone you marry doen't mean your spouse is someone you love the most.

So before your heart break, THINK.

U know in Thailand, there are 7 girls to 1 boy ratio, so don't worry you still have lot of choice.

Cheers.

[lvcap]

i am sure its very painful for u..but life has to go on eh..

from your description...shd sounds like a spoilt rich brat..no offence to those rich reefers..

immature maybe..to handle the bigger things in life..

cheer up bro..

what goes around comes around....she might ger her desserts one day..

i have heard of worse cases....

so cheer up and go cheong LFS with the reefers in here....

[kschew1498]

No offence bro but you dont buy the first fish you see at the lfs. Sec 1! It appears that she might have outgrown your tank since then. A groupa fry looks cute on day 1, but a few years later, you better watch out. Go LFS shopping, compare around. There are other livestock to pick, you might find a great bargain.

dump

BRAVO MANZ!!!...Well said.....

Dont desert the forest because of one tree....my advise to you.

Experience and enjoy more courtship when you are young......or you will regret! hahaha ..however learn from every experience and try not to commit them again. Its very sweet getting love by someone over and over again!!! hahahaha ....but I am not asking you to be a playboy la.......

We guys are very petty I must say.....you want to own her for yourself.....same for me .....but......mutual understanding is very very important for a relationship......like my Mdm......she still talks to her male friends and colleagues....she goes out with them too, clubing, dinner.....you just have to trust yourself. Be nice......ask her how did the dinner go.......even best.....dont ask her.....she will feel awkard and start telling you about the outing. You will definately feel it when she betray you......then......K...N....N.....DUMP her!!!!! You deserve better!!!!!!!

FYI I am married for 9 years and have been through courtship twice!

All the best.....at your age.....there are many other fun you can have!!! besides courtship.....treasure your friendship (male).....enjoy life!!!!

[riot]

you have fully 'utilised' her for the past couple of years or so

tsk tsk tsk alfa.... but no wonder you are a romeo

But really spsdude, if you love somebody, you gotta set them free. You cant be in a situation where you dont trust her forever. Imagine you go off for NS, worry. Go office, worry. Go holiday, worry. Nothing is worth the stress....

dump

except for my reef, but thats another story...

[sy8]

the oldest rule in the world

THERE ARE MANY FISHES IN THE SEA

and believe me i have been there thru that tricks of women and listen to your reef kaki...........it has outgrown you and bored no matter what you do she knows you will always be there as you mentioned that this has happen a number of times so chill out get on with life with or without as there is always sunshine after a rainy day or thunder storm ( your situation is thunder storm )

GO OUT FISHING