Future Card

[kschew1498]

The multi-purpose FutureCard will be the version of our perpetually

metamorphosing IC in the near future. With an embedded smart chip, it can

also be used as a passport, store our medical history, driver's license, act

as an ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the

National Library...what ever you do with the card...you will be tracked! It

may also be a tracking device via GPRS (Good or Bad, depending the

situation) However, a recent debate has brought to light

the questionable control on access, potential information abuse and privacy

infringement. As the debate rages on, I can foresee a likely scenario when

ordering pizzas in the near future...

Ah Beng's FutureCard ( Likely Scenerio )

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut Geylang. May I have your..."

Ah Beng: "Haloo, arh...can I orler huh..."

Operator: "Can I have your Future Card number first, Sir?"

Ah Beng: "It's arh..., hold on prease, arh.....

6102-0499-54610FC"

Operator: "OK... you're... Tan Ah Beng alias 'Or Kwee

Tao' and you're calling from 19-D Lorong 14, Geylang. Your home number is

6782 8828, your office 6782 8838 and your mobile is 96828848. Which

number are you calling from now Sir?

Ah Beng: "Home lah! Wah Lan...How you get all my phone lumbers, arh?"

Operator: "We are connected to the 'FutureCard' system Sir"

Ah Beng: "OK lah, okay lah...Can I orler your Seafood Pisar..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Ah Beng: "Why....Cannot arh?"

Operator: "According to your latest medical records, you have high blood

pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Ah Beng: "What?...Wah Lan!....medical lecords also hab... you lecommend

lah?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Ah Beng: "Wah...How you know I like Hokkien mee, arh?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the

National Library last week Sir"

Ah Beng: "OK...OK...Buay Ta Han... I give up... Gif me three family sized

ones then, how much arh?

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10,

Sir. The total is $45..."

Ah Beng: "I pay by FutureCard...Can or Not ?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over

the limit and you're owing your bank $6720.55- since October last year"

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah!... Everything also know...chiat lat!"

Operator: "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing

loan Sir.

Ah Beng: "Okay lah...I run to ATM and withdraw some cash before you come my

house lor"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily

limit on machine withdrawal today....with the latest withdrawal of $250 for

4D and TOTO at 2.46pm"

Ah Beng: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I borrow money from my Ah Mah.

How long arh?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come

and collect it on your motorcycle...it'll be ready in 15 mins and you are

only 5 mins away"

Ah Beng: "Where got transport?"

Operator: "According to the details in your FutureCard", you own a Honda

Scooter, ...registration number FE 3288..."

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah!"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on

15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a

policeman...?"

Ah Beng: [speechless and calms down after being reminded of the brush with

the law]

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Ah Beng: "Nothing... by the way... still got stock of that 3 free bottles of

cola as advertised or not?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also

diabetic....... "

Ah Beng: [Heard cursing away as he slams down the phone and telling his

family he is going to the Hawker Centre to 'Tar Pow']

[minsmarine]

Ah Beng reached to Hawker Center and order his fav hokkien mee and Copy O. While he was waiting for his mee, two nicely weard person holding big black box approch him and ask him.

Man 1 : "Are you Mr. xxxxx xxxxx "

Ah Beng : Wat now ? How u knoe my name, no1 call me like dat.

Man 2 : "Oh we are from Singapore Sw*** sir"

Man 1 : "According to our record, your ToTo ticket purchased this afternoon won 6 millions $ first prize".

Ah Beng fall out of chair and ask him,

Ah Beng : "U know how ?"

Man 1 : "Because you used future card , so we know and trace u here by GPRS"

and show Ah Beng the black box he is carrying.

Ah Beng: "So now what"

Man 2 : "Can u go to our office and collect prize"

Ah Beng : "No cycle lay, my son riding"

Man 1 : "No worry , we can trace ur son, what is his card #"

Ah Beng : "871123---------"

Man 2 entered # to his black box and after 5 sec he shows box to Man1 and man 1 knock his head and tell Ah Beng

Man 1 : "Ahhh, he may not be back by next 30 mins"

Ah Beng : "U know How ?"

Man 1 : "Cause he just entered into Hotel 81 in Geylang Lor 18".

[giantbicycle]

[penyu]

hahaha

[davwong]

good one

[sps_dude]

this is scary actually...i heard when the world ends there will be a chip embeded in ur body... according to christians ... it is the mark of the beast........ after this chip is embeded there shall be no religions.......... haiz.......

[terryansimon]

urh. lets leave religion out of this humorous discussion. (=

[Nautical]

i agree ... no religion.

[RAV-65]

If only there was an adult story-telling competition, the 2 of you make a good tag team!!!