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Women!


reeflobang
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A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go

to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6

floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends

the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor

you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot

go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to

herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's

further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself,

"That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are

extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's

upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and

help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further

up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help

with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?"

So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no

men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are

impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice

day.

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:D

The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads (Women)

40-ish.................. 48

Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will

Athletic................ Flat-chested

Average looking......... Ugly

Beautiful............... Pathological liar

Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin

Educated................ College dropout

Emotionally Secure...... Medicated

Feminist................ Fat; ball buster

Free spirit............. Substance user

Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut

Fun..................... Annoying

Gentle.................. Comatose

Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic

New-Age................. All body hair, all the time

Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only

Open-minded............. Desperate

Outgoing................ Loud

Passionate.............. Loud

Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic

Professional............ Real Witch

Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section

Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat

Romantic................ Looks better by candle light

Voluptuous.............. Very Fat

Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat

Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking

Widow................... Nagged first husband to death

Young at heart.......... Toothless crone

:whistle

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