Corporate Philosophy

[chrislwp]

CORPORATE LESSONS

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up

her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing

over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,

quickly

wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,

there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,

I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel. "After thinking for a

moment, the woman drops her towel and stands ###### in front of Bob. After a

few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited

about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes

back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from

the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob, the next door neighbor,"she

replies. "Great," the

husband says, "Did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to

credit and risk in time with your stockholders, you may be in a

position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He

stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and

crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The

priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he

stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and

immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 1--?" The priest was

flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand.

However,

he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while

changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once

again said, "Father, remember Psalm 1--?" Once again the priest

apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the

convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her

way. On his arrival at

the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 1--.

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you

might miss a great opportunity!

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Corporate Lesson 3:

Usually the staff of a company will play football. The middle-level

managers are more interested in tennis. Top management usually has a

preference for golf.

FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in

size.

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Corporate Lesson 4:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to

lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it, and a Genie

comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three

wishes, so

I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!", says the

admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,

without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next!

Me

next!", says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the

beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas, and the

love

of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the

manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office

after lunch."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say.

[stash]

hahahaha very funny