ClOwNy_LoVeR

Saleman Makes Selling Look Easy A young zealous boy wanted desperately to work at a department store. He approached the store manager who responded they needed no help. Quite persistent, the boy returned again and again until the manager finally said "We're having a holiday sale tomorrow. Why don't you show up and you can give it a try." The elated boy returned the following day and proceeded to sell. At the end of the day the store manager called the youngster over and asked how he had done. The boy responded that he had sold $79,083.50 worth of merchandise. The manager asked how he had done so well. The young man said, "Well this guy was going fishing so I asked if he wanted some fish hooks, he said sure, That's $1.50. I asked if he had a nice fishing pole, he said no, so I got a graphite extension pole for $43.50. Do you have a nice reel, not yet replied the customer... so I got him a nice quick release reel for $35.00. I asked where he was going fishing and he said Strawberry Reservior. I told him the best places to catch fish are near the center, "Do you have a boat?" The man said he didn't so I set him up with a nice outboard 30 foot cruiser for $28,000.00. Then I asked if he had a trailer. He didn't, so I got him a double axle trailer for $3,000.00. Then I asked what he had to tow the boat. He only had a station wagon, so I told him that just wouldn't do, but we could get him a nice fully loaded Dodge Ram dually, racked and packed with a tow package, trailer hitch and everything for $48,000.00. He wanted it all." As you can imagine the store manager was astounded. "And to think it all began with that man asking for a package of fish hooks?" The boy replied, "Oh no, it all began with him asking for some tampons which were $3.50, so I replied, "Well you aren't going to be doing much else this weekend, you might as well go fishing!"

The Fishing Fish A fish goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation. Patti looks at the fish in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The fish says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the fish says that his name is Rainbow Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The fish says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain fly rod and reel, about an inch long; detailed and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a fish named Rainbow Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny rod & reel. "I mean, what the heck is this??" The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack. Give the fish a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Fishermen and Funeral Kent and three of his buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Kent lays down his pool, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and cast out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!"

Wild Whiskey Worm One day Jim was out fishing and was not having any luck at all, he tried lures, worms and other types of bait and was just not catching anything. Tom was fishing about 20 feet from him and was catching fish as fast as he cast his line out. Jim was getting very jealous of this show off, so he asked the Tom what he was using for bait. The man said " I am using worms, but I dip them in whiskey" Jim got really interested in this technique so he asked Tom if he could try one of these drunk worms. Tom had no problem with this request so he handed Jim one of the worms. Jim placed the worm on the hook and cast out no sooner than his hook hit the water, Jims pole began to bow like crazy, he set his hook and started to reel it in. Once he got his catch up to the shore he noticed that the worm had the fish by the throat.

Fairplay A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. (Contributed by Scott Jamison, Orem,Utah)

Women v's Game Warden A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, "Is this guy blind or what?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman. "I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff. "Yes, that's true... but you have all the equipment ..." Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!

Why fishing is better than making love: * When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. And don't want to know how many other fish you caught. * In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught. * You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go. * You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish. * You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum. * Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.

The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishers were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisher said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisher said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisher was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisher said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

hey you my bro.haha anyway upzz for your sales can specify their sizes ?thanks cheers

bros octopus have pigments to allow them to change colours to fit their tank for camoflage, they also should be able to eat those prawns sold in markets by grabbing from you, you can try though. cheers

confirm its tomato clown?

can you tell me the names of the farms?thanks

can you give me the names of those farms?thanks

hi bro,can anyone tell me where is the best LFS that has the largest variety of corals?thanks

hi bro,can anyone tell me where is the best LFS that has the largest variety of corals?thanks

ok thanks lots just running 2ft tank to hold extra LR as going to rescape tank.cheers.

bro, why do you say it is suitable for 3 feet and below?it can support up to 4-5ft tank.regards cheers

hi bros, need some advice.must mushrooms be chilled or any temperature also can?how about zoos?need to be cold?cheers

hi bros, need some advice.must mushrooms be chilled or any temperature also can?how about zoos?cheers

sorry for some repeated stuff.took this from web.anybody has more fish jokes?

bro why getting sick?

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have ###### all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies "*expletive* me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".